


Sometimes You Only Get What You Deserve

by bellzaboo_huffin



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: F/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Smut, alcoholic sole survivor, depressed sole survivor, problematic sole survivor, this sole survivor is angst central
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-07
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:08:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21709501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellzaboo_huffin/pseuds/bellzaboo_huffin
Summary: Cara J. Ladera grew up alone, entered the wasteland alone and defeats the Institute alone. Now she's connected with Gage, but their ideologies aren't cohesive. Will she end up alone or will there be another to save her from herself? She's self-deprecating and generally is over aware of things.Sole Survivor is a modded BOS ending, her General leading style is basically here's the tools figure it out. Railroad is still alive, and the end game is Far Harbor Nick Valentine romance.
Relationships: Female Sole Survivor/Nick Valentine, Porter Gage/Female Sole Survivor
Comments: 3
Kudos: 11





	1. If only an introduction was all you needed

Cara’s stomach wouldn’t stop turning. The radiation from the Kiddie Kingdom’s sprayers were not helping and the Rad-X wasn’t spectacularly useful. Somehow, her and Gage managed to make it into a tower on King Cola’s Castle after scrambling away from ghouls who were mostly only a nuisance, especially when faced with Gage’s rifle.

The area inside was small and full of personal touches. Cara ventures over to the terminal to find it belonged to someone named Rachel who used it to detail her journey into becoming a ghoul and the fall and ride of Nuka world. Poor girl, Cara thought. She hoped she managed to make it out of Nuka world. She stepped away from the terminal and gave dogmeat a command to look for anything worth taking. She moved to the small couch to sit next to Gage.

To his credit he didn’t start sharing his story until the dog finally stopped his search and laid next to her. He told her about Connor and his mistakes as a young man. He eventually broke it down to how he could only really trust and rely on her. Her heart nearly broke from the trust in his voice. 

Every time he stopped so she could offer comment, she moved closer and closer and once he’d finished, she was in his lap. Each movement was filled with more touches that were getting less friendly and more insistent. Cara has been waiting for him to mention his natural attraction and all she could think about was how she needed a new addiction. 

Cara has spent nearly the whole time in Nuka world detoxing from her crutch. Gage nearly lost it when he’d find out she was drinking on the job. Dulled the senses he said; made her careless. She would have hidden it from him except he’d neatly pulled the trigger on Danse when rounded on him. Blamed him for being careless and not taking care of his charge. She wasn’t sure it was because of her being the Overboss or if it was because he saw her potential. 

So instead of hiding it from him, she sent Danse home and took Gage up on his offer to keep an eye on her. He’d unfortunately took all the booze out of the Overboss’ quarters and from the Fizztop and dumped them into the lake. He let out an order to remove all the alcohol from Nuka-town and within hours all the booze was either hidden or dumped. 

Needless to say, Cara had spent close to a week wallowing within the building and refused to see anyone. She’d refused the addictol and so she carried the weight of the detox with her even now, craving the burn of just a shot of vodka. Gage made sure the only thing available to drink was purified water but the need for the alcohol was always present. Cara would have bet that he knew from experience and didn’t want her to lead down his past. 

No longer being dampened, her sex drive had kicked into high gear. As such she had set her eyes on Gage and she hoped that fucking him would help quell the need for alcohol. Her experiences and past mistakes told her it wouldn’t and yet, here she was sitting on his lap closely monitoring his reactions. He was a raider and as wary as she was she couldn’t help but trust him. As she reached to remove her to top, he’d froze, and his breath became shallower and more uneven. Cara moved forward for a kiss and whispered, “Think you can keep up, Porter?”

Gage’s reaction was instantaneous. His kiss was rough and hard, and Cara was sure her lips would be bruised and swollen after. Her hands moved to his shirt, his armor having been cast aside for the evening, and she forced him to break his kiss to remove his shirt. She threw it over her shoulder and Gage moved his attention to her nipples. He was rough and his bites caused her pain and she let out an encouraging moan and began to grind down on his obviously present cock. His growl only made her want more and he reached down to remove her pants.

Gage was ruthlessly efficient and lifted her so she could remove the pants. Once accomplished he reclaims her mouth and Cara’s starting to lose her concentration. Gage seemed to realize that and held her his down as he thrusted up, causing her to come back with a short yelp. He pulled back and chuckled at her.

“You gonna help with these or are you just gonna be selfish, Boss.”

Cara looked him dead in the eyes and barely withheld the sarcastic remark that had formed as she reached down to undo his pants and moves them enough to have his cock spring free. She knows she shouldn’t be as surprised to know he was a commando type of guy. She also knows she shouldn’t be surprised at how well-endowed he is. It seemed like the radiation did do some good to humanity.

She takes his cock in her hand and begins to spread his pre come and watches as his head falls back. Cara takes the opportunity to mark his neck with a few hard bites which earns her his groans.

Gage in turn takes her ponytail in his hand and uses it to control her head. He uses his other hand to roughly spread her pussy apart and shoved in two fingers. It’s been long enough for her that’s she wet enough and instead of it hurting it only causes her to thrust down into his hand with a loud and long moan.

“You’re awful greedy, Boss. Tell me what you want.” Gage begins to pump his fingers faster which causes Cara to whimper from the coiling in her gut. Her body felt like it was on fire and all she could do was let the praises fall from her lips. It obviously spurred him on and moments later she came.

Gage kept thrusting his fingers riding out her climax until she began to make sounds of discomfort. He removed his hand from her pussy and moved her head forward and shoved his fingers into her mouth.

Cara immediately began to suck his fingers clean and Gage whispered how good she was and how he couldn’t wait to fuck her. She moaned around his fingers and he removed his fingers with a pop and began to reposition them. He positioned her above his cock and Cara began to slide down into his cock. She moved slowly and waited as she bottomed out. Gage took the time to regain control of his own breathing and once Cara moved, he took control of the pace.

It was quick and ruthless, and Cara knew she wasn’t going to last long. So, she threw herself into motions of trying to match his pace and latched onto his collarbone to leave love bites, Gage’s groans and pants gaining in speed.

He took her hair again and moved her head to his lips. He came and thrusts until his cock stops spasming, his groans edging Cara onward. Gage reaches down and uses his free hand to rub her clit until she comes, her pussy clenching onto his cock and he continues to assault her clit until she begins to pull away.

Gage lets go of her and carefully pulls her off his cock and sets her next to him. Cara finds a shirt and puts it on while he redoes his pants. When he’s situated, she curls up into a ball on the couch and uses his lap as a pillow as she sets her goal on sleep for the evening. Gage cradles her face and runs his fingers through her hair.

She knows in the morning she’ll get up and they’ll move along to finish cleaning the final parks and then she has to come to terms that Gage will turn on her. Every part of her screams to postpone it, to run away with him and never look back, but her duty as the General and as Brotherhood Sentinel means that the raiders have to go.

Cara tries to hold the tears back and she’s not sure he doesn’t notice as she drifts away into an uneasy sleep wishing for something stronger to keep her under.


	2. At what point would you change who you are just for something better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can Cara cope with being more important to the wasteland than she feels she is? 
> 
> In otherwords, Cara avoids confrontation and is eventually forced to come to terms that raiders are in fact, bad people.

Cara’s trigger finger itched to do something. Anything. She hasn’t used a gun since Concord, but God does she wish she had a shotgun so she could blast off Shank’s face. She knew raiders couldn’t be satisfied with their own kingdom. They had to take their sights and set them on the Commonwealth. That was her territory. Hers. And to hell with them if they thought they were taking what was hers. 

Instead of blasting Shank into next year, she uses what she hopes is intimidation on him and tells him she’ll be back. He responds with a thinly veiled threat as she walks away. She knows Gage is giving her a look that says what the fuck are you doing. And pointedly ignoring his look, she takes them out of the park and starts to head to the grand Chester mystery mansion. 

They had passed it once and they had agreed that there was nothing there but a trap, but now faced with making her final decision, Cara decides to postpone it even longer. She knows she shouldn’t but she’s not ready to let Gage go. Not yet. 

Since that night in the tower she has gone off alone often to spend nights there alone to cry and think about everything. It was barely two weeks ago but her timetable has been accelerated and it puts her into a panic. 

And as such she’s decided to explore the outskirts of the park. It only takes a week to clear it. The mansion was creepy and the gunner that had defected was easily put down. The Hubologists were killed in the spaceship ride and she’d nearly passed out from the experience. She’d accidentally put in four cores before Dara had told her only three. She warned them but, in their delusions, they had simply ignored her and walked into the ship regardless. The town of Bradberton was full of ghouls which were easily taken out and she found Rachel’s holotape. Cara had convinced Oswald to leave Nuka World and she was glad she did since Rachel wasn’t coming back. The remainder of the park was populated with only Gunners and wildlife. 

Before Cara knew it, they were back at the entrance to Nuka town and rather than confronting the problem at hand she opted to run some jobs for Mason and Mags. She was sure that Nisha wouldn’t hesitate to put a knife in her back if she entered the mountain. She killed some mutants for Mason and did her best to pretend that they weren’t real people she was killing for Mags. 

At some point the small jobs caused Cara too much mental anguish and she’d spent one last night with Gage in Fizztop grill. She’d taken the lead and ensured that the night lasted long. Gage was oddly receptive, and Cara knew she loved him. In the morning she told Gage she had some things to do and he should wait here. His look told her he knew what she was doing but he agreed with a gruff “Whatever you say. . . Boss” and Cara could barely contain her tears as she set off for the market. 

She met with Mackenzie who hurriedly told her the plan. Cara agreed and told her she needed to get something before they started. She headed to the Disciples mountain popped a stealth boy and stole Nisha’s alcohol stash. By the time she’d made it back to the market she’d nearly finished a bottle of whiskey. The effects were immediate, and the world was clear again. She felt like she could take on the world and donned her Minutemen General coat and gave Mackenzie the all good signal. 

Cara slipped out and headed for the entrance and set off a Minutemen flare and radioed for her Minutemen. 

They appeared before she’d finally finished the bottle and looked hesitant when she asked one of them for their shotgun. She gave them the command to wait until she fired the first shot and to not shoot the travelers or traders. As an afterthought, she also said to keep the NIRA robot alive. 

Cara headed back in stood in front of Shank raised the shotgun to guys face and told him to go to hell toy piece of shit bastard. He’d barely reacted when she pulled the trigger until his face no longer resembled a man. 

The Minutemen swarmed the Gates and began to shoot the raiders who had started to explore the gun shot. Eventually the raiders grew wiser and the battle began to draw out. Cara stood with her men and held her rifle aimed to take out the Boss’s if they came out of their hiding places. After some time, Mason had come out of the amphitheater and went down easily to one of her headshots. 

After the raiders had stopped filing out of the amphitheater, the troop of Minutemen moved forward toward the Nuka Cade. Before they reached the gate, they came under gun fire and the troop returned fire. They were firing for what seemed to be forever before Mags and William showed their faces. 

Cara made sure they saw her before she took them out there was no point in delaying their deaths. She was most worried about Nisha and her gang of blood maniacs. There was no doubt she knew what was occurring and Cara feared for Gage and she prayed to some benevolent god that he was safe. 

Of course, it all seemed too easy and so she swallowed another gulp of whiskey and gave the order to advance on Fizztop mountain. 

Cara fell behind her troops and let them take care of the nameless disciples that emerged from every hiding spot in the area. Eventually they cleared the area of raiders and all was silent. Cara couldn’t remember if Nisha and her loyal followers had made an appearance and just when she gave the order for the troops to look for their corpses, the door to the mountain opened and savoy exited with an air of rage. 

Cara saw him and couldn’t remember if he’d always seemed that big or if it was the alcohol. Her Minutemen began firing at him in an effort to protect their General, but it seemed his armor mostly reflected the bullets. She took the time to crouch behind some cover and tried to line up a shot. 

By the time her gun was steady enough to be aligned quick burst fire rang out and the man fell dead. Cara fell to the ground in relief without questioning who had a rapid-fire gun powerful enough to take him down. Her Minutemen didn’t use automatics. 

She took another swing of her whiskey. At this point it was nearly gone and most of her Minutemen has suddenly doubled. Maybe she shouldn’t have drank so much since she’d been sober for so long. In the distance of her consciousness she heard someone call out the found someone matching the description of Dixie. 

Cara was momentarily relieved that the psychopath had been found. The relief was replaced with anxiety since she knew she was in no state to defend against Dixie emotionally or physically. The sudden gun fire began to ring out. 

She became overwhelmed and simply couldn’t handle anything at all. The gunfire was too loud too close, and Cara had to get away at any cost, until laughter rang through her head. 

“Gage’s little pet couldn’t even finish what she started could she. Who knew you could be so weak?” 

Cara’s feelings had caught up with her. Her eyes were filled with tears of rage and sadness and she wouldn’t have been able to see straight even if she’d been sober. Somewhere in front of her were at least four silhouettes that could have been the taunting raider. 

“We did. From the moment you set foot in Nuka world it was clear you weren’t a raider. You were too soft and careless to be anything but new to the wasteland. We should have eviscerated Gage long before today. He would have deserved it and every other thing we would have done to him.” 

The silhouettes moved closer until Cara felt a blade against her trachea. She tried to scramble away but was held in place by a hand holding her jacket. 

“Like a scared little bunny, you are. Too bad your sweet little Gage isn’t here anymore. He must have gotten caught in the crossfire. Too bad you won’t be joining him.” Nisha’s knife slid down Cara’s throat drawing some blood. “You wish you were given what he was. You’re mine now.” Her knife was reaching Cara’s sternum. 

Cara had mostly stopped resisting after Nisha had taunted her about Gage being dead. There was no way he could be dead. He was safe. He had to be safe. Her gun was still in her hand she realized as her grief turned to desperation which turned to rage. 

She rolled her head back to look at Nisha where her eyes would be if she had taken off the stupid helmet. She spit in her face and spat out “Rot in hell, you psychopathic bitch.” Cara lifted her gun and released a clip into Nisha’s side. Once the clip ran out, she tried to stand and call attention to herself. It barely worked and she hit the ground before anyone could catch her.


	3. If you felt better would it for the best or not

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cara recovers from the battle of Nuka World. Mackenzie helps her piece together some missing information. 
> 
> Read also: Cara drinks too much and it could have cost her her life.

Cara woke up inside the Fizztop grill. The room was uncomfortable and not because of the tightness in her throat. The decor was truly horrid. Gage hadn’t been lying when he said Colter had a peculiar taste. She had specifically avoided the interior because the patio was bad enough, but at least with the window there was something else to focus on instead of the over the top décor. 

Needless to say, the heat wasn’t helping. Her stomach rumbled and she felt the immediate need to vomit. She scrambled out of the bed and was able to find a trashcan near enough to dump the lack of contents into the bin. The acid burned her throat and she knew hadn’t been conscious with enough time to eat since the battle. She looked around to see if maybe by some miracle there was something to scarf down. A bottle of something dark caught her eye on the table nearest to the kitchen. 

Cara used her strength to move herself to the table. She nearly fell a few times and wondered why there wasn’t someone in the room to watch for when she woke up. Her thoughts turned to resent as she managed to reach the table. The bottle was only Nuka and she felt slight disappointment even though she knew logically that there was nothing else within the immediate premises. 

Accompanying the Nuka was a box of Dandy Boy apples and a bowl of stew, which was cold of course. She had no idea how long it had been there. She nursed the bottle of Nuka and tried to eat the soup. It was an odd texture and she chose to only eat the tatoes and the broth for some safety. If she puked again at least there was something more than acid. The apples were just that and she only ate a few.

After she ate, she to the bed on the patio of Fizztop. She spent the remainder of the day drifting in and out. No one came and checked on her, which she thought was strange. She knew she was probably dehydrated and fatigued but couldn’t figure out why she was so tired. At some point she finally couldn’t fall back asleep and chose to move around to turn on some lights. Using the Pip-Boy as her light, she slowly lit the building back up. If they didn’t know she was awake they would now. 

Cara had walked from the market to the Fizztop often enough to know it took exactly 10 minutes to arrive and so she had decided that if someone was watching, it would take nearly 20 for someone to show. She glanced at the time and spent the time waiting on a chair in the kitchen, nursing the remainder of her Nuka. At exactly 19 minutes, she heard the elevator start up. 

Within the half minute, Mackenzie stepped into the room, wielding her doctors’ bag. “Overboss, glad to see you up and around. You’ve been out for a day or two depending on how you track the time.” She set her bag down on the table. Cara was glad that it was only Mackenzie who had showed. She didn’t know the woman enough to put more than a preliminary gauge on her. 

“Please, call me General. I never want to be Overboss again.”

“So, you really wiped out the raiders. Guess having the Minutemen around is a good thing. They’ve been helpful getting everyone out of their collars and into real clothes.”

Cara let out a dry laugh, “If by wiped them out, I let everyone else do the work then yeah. I’m glad they helped y’all out. I wasn’t exactly available for direction.” 

“It’s understandable, Over-, I mean General. Nisha did a nasty number to you, and you were pretty intoxicated. Probably a good thing, too. To avoid the pain.” Cara looked away from the woman. She was a little too nail on the head for her comfort. “Either way, got you all cleaned up. Cleaned you up and a little stitching and a Stim helped the wounds. Not sure why you slept so long though.” 

“Yeah, I dunno, maybe the stress of the ordeal?” Cara spoke truthfully. She didn’t know why she was so tired. Maybe from all the chems to get her sober enough to stitch her up. Although she rarely slept when she was drunk. She never slept well to begin with though. Even during her sober stint with Gage left her exhausted more often that not. The only time she slept was if he had been curled around her. 

“Wait, Mackenzie. What did you use to get me sober?” 

“Just a radscorpion omelet? One of the gentlemen who came in the after waves of the battle brought it in. Said we might need it.” 

“Which man?” Cara was making complete eye contact with her. 

“Uh, dark hair, in a suit of power armor? Was real worried about you.”

Cara swore out loud. “Has anyone besides you been up here since I was brought up?”

“No, only the immediate men around you brought you up and I have been up here. I put a strict visitation limit to Fizztop. You needed a rest. That meal you ate was here the evening of the battle.” 

Cara didn’t know what to make of the information. For the first time since the bombs, she felt good. Clear, and at ease. Her heart hurt and she was sore, sure, but otherwise she felt perfectly fine. “Are there any special effects from that omelet?”

“Not really, Boss. Just filters the blood a little better than Addictol.” 

“General. Thanks Mackenzie. Is there anything else?” 

“No! but you should stay on bedrest for a few more days. If you’re up for it, a man calling himself Preston insists he needs to see you.”

“It’s fine. I’d like another day of rest before seeing anyone else. Could you relay this message for me?” 

“Uh sure. No problem.” 

Cara wrote out a message to Preston, detailing what went on in the raid, explaining that she was fine, and that Mackenzie should be his point of contact for further notice. When she was finished, she folded the paper and gave it to Mackenzie. “Thanks for checking in. I’d like to be left alone now.”

“Alright. Get some rest and I’ll check back in the morning.” Mackenzie stepped onto the elevator and Cara watched as she descended. As soon as the elevator stopped, Cara stood and began to gather her pack. She dressed herself in her General’s coat, strapped armor pieces to herself and took only a few weapons. In her pack she stored some food stuff, medicine and ammo. Her caps were secured in a pocket she had sewn onto the coat, and with that she moved through the interior of Fizztop. 

Cara had a job to finish, and no amount of waiting around was going to accomplish it.

What an interesting way to cope with the grief you’ve given yourself

Her goal was to finish clearing the raiders from the parks of Nuka World. Thankfully, the trek to the individual parks was clear from her original purges. She’d only assigned Operators and the Pack to the parks and was thankful for her past self’s actions. 

She started with Nuka Galaxy and ended with Kiddie Kingdom. Her silent weaponry was no match for the raiders who were on low alert. There were only a few in each park, which was strange considering how itching they were to move away from the main park. 

After clearing Kiddie Kingdom, she went to find Rachel’s tower. Only herself and Gage knew where’/+++ it was and so it was unlikely that she would be found unless she went out of her way to be found. Of course, there was always Dogmeat, but he could take care of himself and she was sure that Preston had reigned him in. 

She entered the tower and found it the same as she had left it. She wasn’t surprised, mostly disappointed. She had hoped, maybe, that Gage would be here. Maybe Nisha was lying to her. That maybe, her first real connection in this world was real. 

But as Cara entered the dark room, filled with silence, she knew. She knew that Gage was gone, if not dead then gone. She knew that she had to go back to the Commonwealth. She knew that the Brotherhood wouldn’t tolerate the people of the state unless they were reigned in. She knew Nuka World was a thing of the past and she knew that she was going to have return to the unforgiving wasteland. 

Cara curled up on the couch into a ball, not bothering with any of her gear. She felt empty. Alone, empty and for the first time she realized she didn’t want to drown it out with alcohol. Instead she burst into tears and cried herself to sleep.


	4. Sorrow is a helpless emotion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some back story to the Sole Survivor. It's mostly the main quest line. She is still pretty depressed but Dogmeat makes another appearance!

Morning did not come for a long time. Cara spent the time sleeping and crying or crying and eating. Everything began to catch up with her. The loss Nate. The loss of Shaun. The loss herself. She felt like she had no friends, no family. No one to rely on.

It was true she had thrown herself headfirst into finding Shaun. And she did it alone. It was all she could focus on. As the search grew longer, her alcoholism returned. Before the end of the world, she had been clean since she got to know Nate. Nate helped her through everything. Failing out of law school, her sudden pregnancy, detoxing, the death of her father. Nate had even stepped up to be Shaun father. Nate had loved her, and she had finally found peace and love and acceptance and then the end of her world happened.

Not the bombs, but the death of Nate and the loss of Shaun. The bombs falling meant little to her. As long as she had Nate and Shaun, she could take on anything. And then Kellogg came and he took her son and killed the second man who had ever gave her love. When she unfroze, Kellogg was the only thing that had a tangible lead in the world and so she followed it until she met Nick and finally, they were able to blow his brains out of his skull.

Then she watched Kellogg’s memories and then she was at a loss. Nick sounding like Kellogg scared her and in turn she lost trust that Nick was himself. She’d hit up Whitechapel Charlie and her tab grew and grew. Eventually, Charlie kicked her out of the bar to her protests that she could pay. He responded with “It ain’t me or the tab, luv, it’s you.” Hancock had kicked her out of Goodneighbor until she could get a hold of herself. Daisy gave her an addictol, “for when she felt she needed it” and a look that said she hoped she use it sooner than later. Cara promptly gave it to Nick. He took her to Hangman’s and made sure the people there kept her on a short leash. Eventually, he was able to get her take care of herself enough that they could focus on finding a way to Virgil.

They hitched up with Brotherhood and used their resources to get through the Glowing Sea and then again to build the teleporter. After she entered the Institute, she couldn’t believe what they were. Maybe subconsciously, she hadn’t believed that her son, her baby could have become such an evil person. There were raiders who paled in comparison to the atrocities that they were committing. On the final assault, she ensured that she ordered the evacuation. There were a few people there like Liam and the children and the many synths who didn’t know better, who didn’t deserve the fate the Brotherhood had for them. When she finally found Shaun, she convinced him to give her the synth shut down code and she killed him. She killed her son in order to fight for the future of the Commonwealth. For this, she was granted the rank of, and the freedom of, Sentinel of the Brotherhood of Steel. It meant nothing and the title made her blood boil. 

At some point Nick had been replaced with Danse, and then there was no one. In truth, her alcoholism had gotten much worse. She began hiding it, and it seemed like Danse barely even paid attention to her. After she had ended the Institute, she’d found Danse again and then they ended up in Nuka World. He probably told her it was foolish to go there. 

She didn’t listen. 

She should have walked away from Gage. Away from Nuka World. She didn’t. She couldn’t.

Now, finally, here she was. Alone, crying, and finally clean, and she wasn’t sure what was worse, the pain or her newfound sobriety. 

Cara spent a few days crying and wallowing. At least she thought it was a few days. She hadn’t bothered to check the time on her Pip-Boy and she only knew she had reached the tower at dawn and she hadn’t left to track the days.

Eventually her tears had dried up and she was forced to decide. Go back to the Commonwealth or stay and hide from herself. She had spent a lot of time debating with herself and more time sleeping. 

After what was likely more days, Cara heard a small scratching sound. She had tried to ignore it, until a small familiar whine came with a scratch. She went to the door to the tower and opened it slightly. As soon as it was no longer latched, the door flew open and she was attacked by a ball of fur.

Dogmeat had found her. And she felt how much she had missed him.

He licked her face and she petted him until she was laughing at him and he was nudging her to move along. It seemed her hand was being forced towards survival. 

“Alright, Dogmeat. We’ll head home.”

Dogmeat barked and began to run in playful circles around her while he waited for her. Cara gathered her belongings and began to head out to return to the Commonwealth. Maybe everything wasn’t as bad as she convinced herself it was. Maybe everything would be for the better.


	5. Where would you go if it meant that good would come?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cara meets back up with Nick and starts to piece together the state of the Commonwealth. Piper is very upset with her, and for good reason. Cara never did her interview.

Cara stood in front of the sign to Valentine's detective agency. The pink/red fluorescent light was so bright in the empty hallway. It was early morning and very few people were out and about. She hadn’t known where to go. She only knew she needed guidance and Diamond City was always her first point of contact. Nick was always there to help her in the past. 

Valentine was instrumental in finding Shaun. He had helped ground her in the new world; kept her from neglecting herself. Cara would have likely died if he hadn’t been around. After she had found the courser, she had left him at his agency. She didn’t want him to be there when she met the railroad or when she inevitably had to return to the Brotherhood. The Railroad were kooks if she was honest. They didn’t mean harm and she thought that they were good honest people. 

And so, the railroad survived, and she ensured she gave them information after she’d breached the institute. As she thought back on the faction, she realized she held more than a few of their beliefs. Maybe if she had met them before she’d taken out Kellogg it would have ended differently for the Commonwealth. 

Hindsight is 20/20 and so, Cara took a deep breath, walked forward and knocked on Valentine’s door. She didn’t feel like she could just walk in since she wasn’t a client. Or maybe she was in her own way.

Ellie answered the door. Her face expressed her shock but the warming hug she gave Cara said she’d missed her immensely. Cara awkwardly returned her hug and stepped back. 

“Hey Ellie, where’s Valentine?” 

“He’s around.” She moved back and shouted out, “Nick! Cara is here!” 

There was a loud shuffle, a bang and a loud sweat was heard. Cara took the opportunity to take a seat at the desk. It was more comfortable than the one that she’d sat in the first time she’d been here. 

When she’d shown up the first time there was no emotion and she could tell that the both of them were overly concerned with her mental health. Looking back, she’d would have been concerned too. A bottle in one hand and a pistol in another. Little to no protection and a deaden look in her eyes. That was probably part of the reason Valentine had gone with her. She was grateful for him then and now here she was asking for his help again. 

Valentine appeared from around the corner. He walked through to stand near Ellie who had moved behind the desk. “Well look who’s here. Welcome back, doll. What can I do for you?” 

“I heard the Ellie on the radio some time back. Figured you’d need help on the case.” 

Ellie let out a small squeak and shot Nick a panicked look. “That’s an old broadcast. You never answered so we just turned it off.” 

“I was busy answering another broadcast.”

“Cara it’s been almost a year since. You’ve been gone for a year.” 

Cara winced and looked to Valentine. Had it really been that long? If that was true, they must have thought she’d died. “Didn’t Danse send word to anyone? I told him to tell Preston what was going on. I even gave him a note to give.” 

“I don’t know, Doll. If he did, word never made it here and the Brotherhood hasn’t exactly been forthcoming on information when they’re in the marketplace.” 

Cara cringed. When she finally left Nuka World with Dogmeat, she took the back way and just walked back to the commonwealth. It had taken a few days and her lack of attention to time left the actual amount of time indeterminable. She had ignored her Pip-Boy except for the map, and generally tried to forget how she had left the Commonwealth. 

Well, she had fucked up. How bad had the settlements gotten? Was Preston alright? How was Codsworth? Where’d Danse end up? Did she still have her friends? How much did the Brotherhood think they were owed since she left? 

Cara sighed and looked back towards Nick. “I’m sorry Nick. I’m so, so sorry.” 

Valentine made eye contact with her. His robotic eyes were filled with what she thought was sympathy. “You ready to head out? The Nakano residence is a long walk. I hope they still need the help.” 

“Yeah. I have to get Dogmeat and then let’s head out.” 

Dogmeat was shacked up with Piper and Nat. He looked perfectly content to stay and be spoiled, but Cara didn’t think she could stand not having her loyal pup. 

“C’mon boy. Let’s go.” She only looked at him to ensure he was coming. Cara nodded at Piper and Piper furrowed her brow at her and Valentine. 

“So, where’s the ‘Savior of the ‘Wealth’ heading with the City detective?” 

“Piper calm down. We’re heading out on the Nakano case from a while ago.” 

“But she. . .”

Valentines voice was stern, and he said, “Let it go for now, Pipes.” 

“You better have a good reason for trusting her, Nick. You know what damage was caused when she disappeared. How bad it got.” The anger in her face lessened when she looked at Nat. Piper looked at Cara again. “You better bring him back safe and sound, you hear?” 

Cara nodded and straightened. She met Piper’s eyes and responded with, “If he doesn’t come back I won’t either.” She dipped her head and whistled for Dogmeat and stepped out of the shack. 

She sat on the bench in front of Diamond City’s church and hung her head in her hands. What did Maxson do when she disappeared? What did the Brotherhood do to diamond city? The blimp was still here which means that Maxson had to be in the Commonwealth still. She was going to have to face that sooner rather than later. It was not going to be an easy thing to do. If they’ve overreached their boundaries with the settlements, they breached the trust of the Minutemen. If that was the case, it was no wonder they were facing resistance. 

Cara was still technically the General thought. She and Preston had inspired the settlements to be self-dependent and she was sure weren’t going to bend to the Brotherhood. Cara had even made it clear to Teagan that the settlements were off limits to them. If the settlements had held on this long, they could probably hold out until they solved the Nakano case. 

Cara stood and told Dogmeat to wait and to come get her when Nick was done talking to Piper. Or arguing if Pipers loud, muffled voice was any indication. She headed towards the Mayor’s office. The easiest way to repair a city is to live in the city and she needed somewhere new to live. Sanctuary wasn’t going to help her move on and this was the best city in the Commonwealth, regardless of McDonough. 

She stood on the elevator and started it. It creaked and groaned under her weight. Which admittedly was less than she had before she’d left for Nuka world. She needed to buy new armor mods to account for the weight loss. If anything went wrong, at least she’d have a levelheaded companion to help her. She hoped anyway. 

The elevator stopped and Cara moved into the office. Geneva was behind the desk with a look of disdain at there being someone in the office, even though it was the beginning of the workday. “Unless you’re looking for a housing permit, then no one can help you here.” 

“Well it’s good that all I want is the permit then.” Cara hated dealing with Geneva. Cara had dealt with her only once, and she wasn’t helpful then and from what Cara had heard when she was, she was a total bitch. 

Geneva’s response was curt. “We only have one opening in the center of the market. It’s 2000 caps. Did you want it?” 

Cara swore. She had the caps but for a place in the marketplace that was really expensive. If it was the only one, then so be it. “Fine. Here.” Cara took out her caps bag and took out smaller bags of fifty each. Bagging them made haggling easier and made the sound less obvious. “You got somewhere for the caps? Cause you ain’t keeping my bags.” 

Geneva straightened again and opened a drawer. Cara poured each of the bags into the drawer counting them by fifty each time. Eventually she reached the 2000 caps and Geneva thrust the deed to the house at her. “Here, if any caps are missing, you’ll run a fine. Enjoy the house.” She returned to whatever paperwork she had been working on, pointedly ignoring Cara. 

Cara turned to leave, started the elevator and when it stopped, she disembarked to the house in the market. 

The house was empty, provided with only a single light bulb and a ton of junk. It must have been used as a storage place. Clearing it and adding in livable furniture would take a while. So, she left the interior and locked the place back up. She was mending her relationship with Valentine first and foremost. If he was willing to give her a second chance, maybe it would have all been worth it. 

Dogmeat was still waiting by Piper’s so she headed to Arturo’s to see if he had any recommendations for her armor and by the time, he’d berated her for the condition of her gear and tried to sell her more than she needed, Dogmeat had bounded up to her and was wagging his tail. Valentine was close behind and she paid Arturo. 

“You ready to head out?” Nick asked her quietly. 

“Yeah. Let’s get going.”


	6. What do you mean it’s so easy?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cara finds out that Nick has some problems too. They meet with Kenji and Rei and then they're on their way to Far Harbor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The updating schedule is probably going to be about once a month. Cara requires a lot of emotions and this chapter might seem off because of it.

The Nakano residence was much larger than Cara had anticipated. It was also cleaner than she had anticipated. It had boats, organized fishing gear, and an outhouse that not even Valentine could smell from half a mile away. Cara was incredibly happy that there was finally a settlement that needed them to do something that was beyond clear the hostiles or plant more seeds. 

As they approached the house, the heard a man shouting, and a woman trying to console the man. Cara also spotted two cats, which she immediately stooped to give belly rubs to since they hadn’t immediately started to run away, even though Dogmeat had started to sniff at them in hopes of playing. They were soft and seemed to be well cared for. So far, these people were light years better than almost any settlement that Cara had helped. 

Cara stood and gestured for Valentine to lead the way into the house. He’d mentioned on the walk that he’d known the man, Kenji, for some time. Cara was sure it was probably much longer ago than he was letting on and was going to let him do the introductions. 

Valentine knocked on the open door to announce his presence before he walked into the house. “Kenji Nakano? We’re here to answer your call.” 

“Nick! We were worried you weren’t going to respond! We thought that maybe something had happened to you.” 

Valentine looked incredibly uncomfortable, and Cara stepped forward to introduce herself. “My name is Cara, I’m Nick’s partner and if you could, please tell us what you need help with.”

Kenji looked at her with shock, which passed as quickly as it came. “My daughter, Kasumi, is missing. She took a boat, but we don’t know where she went. She didn’t even leave a note.” 

“Did she have any cause to leave?” Cara looked at Kenji’s wife, who hadn’t said anything since they’d entered the house. If Kenji seemed resistant to give additional information, so maybe the woman would open up more. “Ma’am, what is your name?”

“It’s Rei. Kasumi wouldn’t have just disappeared! Something must have happened to her.” Rei’s eye drifted to Valentine, who had just stopped and stared at the couple. Rei started to get more fidgety and actually stepped away from Cara. 

Cara sighed loudly and asked Rei, “Is it alright if Nick and I take a look around the premises to look for clues or anything you would have missed?” If these people hadn’t even looked around the house, then maybe they weren’t as put together as she’d hoped. 

“Yes, please, a- and ask us if you have any other questions.” Rei stammered out. 

Cara gave them a frowned and a disapproving glance. She obviously had more questions, but she needed to figure out what was wrong with Valentine. She pulled on his sleeve gesturing to go upstairs. He followed, somewhat dazed and Cara nearly had to push him up the stairs. 

Cara found Kasumi’s room and forced Nick in and onto the bed. “Nick? What’s wrong?” She stood in front of him with her arms crossed. If he was going to be frozen, he wasn’t going to be able to finish the case. 

He looked at her. His robotic eyes just flickered and dimmed. His face was unnaturally still, and it was troubling Cara. She watched as he took out a pack of smokes and pulled one out. He lit the cigarette and took a deep puff of it. 

“I can’t remember Kenji. I can’t remember the case. I was so sure that it would come back when we got here, but it’s just blank.” 

Cara frowned. “Didn’t Ellie mention it’d been a long time? People forget things all the time. You remembered something and you’re old. You said that yourself. Older than Kenji that’s for sure. He probably doesn’t realize that. He probably doesn’t even realize that you froze. He’s panicking and he’s a dolt.” 

“You know, that’s not reassuring, Doll.” 

“I just mean that you can’t possibly remember everything. I don’t even remember what I had for dinner two weeks ago. Let alone one person from decades ago.” 

Nick didn’t look too sure. Cara only hoped he’d be able to get over it and shrugged. “Come on. We gotta find out where Kasumi went. She could be in danger. And you can work on sorting your memory on this boat ride.” 

Cara moved away from Nick and looked around in the room. She found a holotape and put it in her Pip-Boy and heard a girl’s voice come through. 

The voice sounded unsure. Like she hadn’t heard her own voice before. The log detailed one of her projects she’d completed. As the tape continued the voice grew stronger and more confident. Cara looked at Nick. 

“See? She’s just curious. Which means whatever she found make her curious enough to venture out somewhere. Let’s go see if we can find out where.” 

She reached out a hand for Valentine. He took a moment, looking at her hand, before grabbing it and letting himself get pulled forward. Cara made him lead the rest of the search in the house, only providing a sound board for his theories and for the tapes they found. 

After they combed through the house and listened to the logs, Cara made Nick stop and ask Rei and Kenji more questions. What kind of boat did Kasumi take? Was she asking weird questions before she disappeared? How long ago did she disappear? 

They decided they should check out the boat house and they headed out back. After looking around for a few minutes, they found a safe. Valentine took the note and read it out loud. Something about the key being in a picture frame. He put it down and moved around to find. 

Cara bent down and tested the lock. It took her the same amount of time to break the lock as it did for Nick to return with the key. Nick berated her for destruction of property and she just shrugged and put the holotape she found in her Pip-Boy. 

The girl’s voice came through again, clearer and more confident. She told about how she felt like she didn’t belong in the Commonwealth and that she was going to meet up with some people in Far Harbor who gave her directions and promises of safety. 

Once the tape finished, Cara asked Nick where they were going. 

His frown had deepened since the tape played and he simply said, “Maine.” 

~

By the time that Nick had asked Kenji and Rei if there was any chance that maybe Kasumi had been replaced as a synth, their responses were full of denial and hatred for synths. Cara was ready to strangle the couple for their ignorance and was being held back by Nick reassuring hand on her shoulder. He took point for the rest of the conversation. 

Kenji kept denying that his daughter was anything but human and that she couldn’t have gone that far north on her own. Rei was slightly less resistant and was trying to reassure Kenji instead of talking to the detectives. By the time Cara had decided that she was going to just tie them together and steal the boat that they needed, Nick had finally sweet-talked Kenji into letting them borrow the second boat. 

Cara sent them a glare as thanks on their way out. Nick had kept his hand on her shoulder and steered her out to the docks. Dogmeat joined after she let out a loud whistle. 

“I think that it might be better if we left Dogmeat in the ‘Wealth, Cara. He doesn’t seem too sure about the boat.” 

Cara knew that if the dog didn’t come it wasn’t likely she would come back. “No. He’s gotta come. I can’t leave him again.” 

“If you say so, Doll.” 

And so, they boarded the boat, Dogmeat in the cockpit and Nick at the navigation. Cara stayed the rear of the boat keeping an eye on the supplies and keeping a hand in the mist of the ocean. 

Once the boat had moved far enough away from the mainland, Nick engaged the autopilot and joined Cara. 

“You think the girl is safe, Nick? It has been a long time. Too long.” 

Nick pulled her into a hug. “Even if she isn’t at least we’ll have answers for them. Sometimes that’s the best one can hope for when people disappear. It’s better than nothing.” He pulled away and took his coat off and placed it around Cara. “The trip is long, and you should get some sleep after that trek. Who knows what we’re gonna run into.” 

Cara leaned into him and tried to listen to him. She tried to sleep but the most that happened is she snoozed, and the waves kept her awake. Nick eventually got up to check on the navigation, and Dogmeat came and curled up with her. Her light nap eventually gave way to an uneasy sleep and before long Nick was waking her, telling her that land was up ahead.


	7. A Night for me, a day of travel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Making it to Acadia is only a minor journey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about being so late this month. Real life is a pain in the butt.

The people of Far Harbor were selfish, undeserving and isolationist. It took a battle with horrible irradiated creatures, coaxing, sweet talking, promises that Cara had no intention of keeping and finally a trip to a bar to get any information on where Kasumi could have gone.

The bar was lowly lit, and it would be so easy to take a bottle for the road without anyone being aware. But instead of resorting to theft, the bartender actually threw a bottle to her even though she tried to deny it and she nearly dropped it. Nick reached around her and took the bottle from her. She wondered if he was gonna keep it for a rainy day or if he’d casually leave it for some poor sap.

“You gotta a soda and a location for one Longfellow? Was told he was the one who could get use up the mountain.”

“Why’d you want a soda? Gotta a Vim for 40 caps.”

“The fuck is Vim, barkeep?”

“Regional soda. Here you go. Old Longfellow is in back of the room. Good luck.”

Cara handed him some caps for the soda and turned to look around the room. Sure enough, in the furthest corner, there was a man slumped over the table.

“You know Nick, he might be more receptive if you wake him.” The grin on her face was of pure amusement.

Nick chuckled and said, “You know only a gal like you would be able to pull a man that far gone back to the land of the living.” He pushed her forward and maneuvered her towards the man.

Cara resisted his pushing with no success and was standing in front of the man’s table and was unsure of how to wake up. Usually, she’d just dump some water on him and holler in his ear, but it was still the Wasteland and she was sure he’d shoot her as quick as look at her for it.

“Hey Nick, gimme that bottle Mitch gave us.”

His eyebrow lifted at her and she sighed. “It’s for him. I don’t wanna get shot.” Nick reluctantly handed her the bottle and she moved to the empty side of the table.

Cara started to pour the drink into his mostly empty cup. “Heya Mister, got a preposition for you.” She capped and set the bottle on the table and set to tapping on his drinking hand. “If you wake up and don’t shoot me, I’ll give you more liquor and some caps if you tell me how to get up the mountain.”

The man’s hand tightened around his cup and started to lift the drink to his head. He started to drink from the cup, and he lifted his head as he drank. Most of the liquor didn’t make it to his mouth, instead falling down his beard. Cara watched and tried to remain bored and unamused but was slowly starting to crack a smile.

“It’s a good thing, Mitch gave you whiskey. I can get you there, but I’m not leaving till morning. Too dangerous till then.” The man put his head back down and after a moment there were light snores coming from him.

Cara snorted with amusement. “Guess we better get a room for the night.” She stood and headed back to the bar. “Mitch, you got any rooms available?”

“Yeah, sweetheart, we got one. 10 caps.”

“Alright, good thing I’m made of caps. Ain’t gonna get shit without them here.” She rolled her eyes at him and handed him more caps. Her little bag was empty, and she stored it in a pocket. Mitch handed her a key with a grunt of dismissal and he moved away to tend his bar again.

“Hey, Nick, what do we have for food?” Cara started up the stairs in the bar.

“Just jerky. You sure it’s a good idea to stay here?”

“Yup, got my soda that tastes like fish and I’ve got you and the dog keeping tabs on me, don’t I?” She found the room that matched the key and let them in.

The room consisted solely of a bed and a chair. “It’s a good thing we brought a sleeping bag isn’t it.” Cara unrolled her kit and finally laid down after the long trip. “Oh, thank god.” She let out a soft groan from the relief. 

When she opened her eyes, she noticed Valentine looking at her. His gaze seemed kind and she felt the need to protect herself. “I can control myself Nick. I’m a big kid.”

“Being a big kid gets you into trouble, Doll. You can use the bed.” 

“Yeah and it’s safe enough here. You should sleep. Or you know, whatever it is that you do.” Cara hated the beds. They were dirty, old, and they hurt. Sleeping on the floor with a blanket and a scavenged pillow made for better sleep. Thoughts of being in Nuka world tried to surface and she brushed them away. 

Cara slipped under her cover, pointedly ignoring his sigh. After a moment she heard him step over her and heard the mattress squeak under his weight. 

Under the cover, it was dark, and Cara let it surround her. The blanket was tucked around her entirely. She felt at ease in the small space and let her mind wander to the task of tomorrow. Before long, she fell asleep to the sounds of Nick fidgeting on the bed and the sounds of the bar below.

~

The trip with Longfellow was tiresome. The fog was suffocating, and he was brash. The Child of Atom they found on the road was different than the others Cara had met but for some reason she couldn’t place why. She convinced Longfellow to ease off his trigger to spare the Child and she ushered her companions along the road. Before long they made it to the top of the mountain. 

At the top, Cara had only dreamed of this post war. The air was so clear. It no longer hurt to breathe. The sun was brighter, and the grass was greener. Her lungs began to ache from the ease of breathing. She knew it was the thin air but it was so refreshing that she lost herself in the moment. 

In the background, Longfellow was saying that he’d be glad to travel with her again and when she didn’t answer, Nick was able to tell him that maybe another time. Longfellow gave an affirmative grunt and gave a nod to depart back to his cabin. 

“Well you’ll know where to find me then.

When he was finally out of earshot, Cara closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Nick, it’s so nice up here.” 

“It’s pretty clean, too. Haven’t seen so much green in years.” 

“What do you think we’ll find in the observatory?” 

“Free synths? Hopefully even Kasumi. Who knows though?”

“Such high hopes you have, Nick.” Cara laughed. “Well let’s head in then.” She took one last look up at the sky and decided this is where she wanted to retire in this new world.

She turned to the observatory and entered the building. The door squeaked as Nick closed it behind her. With some oil, it would be right as rain.

Inside, the hall was dimly lit and absent of life. Once her eyes had adjusted, she could see the low blue glow of light from the far end of the hallway. There was the hum of ancient technology and she pulled out Deliverer for safety. 

“Let’s check it out,” she whispered. Nick nodded and moved behind her.

They crept forward to the end of the hallway and were met with the sight of a skeletal chair. It was covered in tubes and was placed strategically to sit in the middle of the telescope room. The computers that were placed around the chair were alive and humming. It looked like the scene out of a comic book. 

“Hello?” Cara said loudly into the room. Her voice echoed off the walls and it caused her to shudder. No room with this much interference should echo.

A moment later a loud hiss rang out and the chair retracted and lost it’s shape. Instead a skeletal version of a human stood from the chair and turned to face them. 

“Hello, Nick. It’s so good to see you.”

Cara heard Nick release his safety on his gun.

“Who are you?” Nick’s voice was filled with trepidation and Cara placed Deliverer back in her holster and looked behind her.

His face gave nothing away and she was sure that only she knew that his anxiety had started to peak again.

Cara looked toward the other man in the room. He had stepped into the light of the computers, and his eyes were lit by the computers to glow an eerie blue. 

My name is Dima. And you. You’re Nick Valentine.”


	8. Sometimes it’s not you you have to deal with

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dima is sneaky, Cara is a brat, Nick is quiet and I forgot about Dogmeat and can't remember where he is! 
> 
> Also, I'm rewriting a lot of the Far harbor stuff because Cara would not do it the way it's laid out in game. So if it's stiff that's why.

The person claiming to be Nick’s brother looked exactly like him. His damage was likely far more advanced than Nick’s but they were the same prototype. The things protruding from his backside seemed to connect to something and if Cara had to guess it was probably the computers. 

Were they for maintenance? Cara wanted to find out. Nick’s circuits were always interesting and he was almost always covered. Maybe whoever helped Dima would be able to give her something. Computers were a nuisance, but robots? Man, the Institute did one great thing and Cara wanted to know how they ticked. 

“What do you mean? Brother? I don’t have a brother.” Nick’s voice was anxious and verging on anger. 

“We escaped the Institute together, Nick. Don’t you remember?” Dima’s face creased with disappointment. Cara was sure he was speaking just to hear himself speak. 

Cara wandered away from them to let them talk. She slipped toward the back stairway, and moved between the floors until she hit the bottom floor of the observatory. 

The years of damage had certainly done it’s job on the building. The bottom floor was barely hanging together and it looked like someone had been trying to clean the place. Cara moved slowly in case there was anyone present. 

As she moved along, she heard the mutterings of a young girl coming from a round open room. 

“Hello?” Cara’s loud whisper echoed slightly off the walls. This place was too open and she didn’t feel safe. Something was happening here and she needed to know what it was. 

“Oh, hello. I haven’t seen you around. I’m new myself. My name is Kasumi.” 

The girl was so young. Her eyes, so wide and full of wonder. Cara was surprised she was wholly intact and seemed safe. So safe as this Island was guaranteed. 

“Hi Kasumi. My name is Cara. I’m with Valentine’s detective agency and we are here to take you home.”

The girl frowned. “I can’t go with you. Not yet. Something is happening here and I think Dima is planning something bad. Maybe you can help.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” 

“Well I’m not going anywhere until I’ve figured it out. So you either help me or leave me be.” She was definitely her father’s daughter. Stubborn. 

Cara knew that if it came to it that she could take the girl, toss her over her shoulder and force her to go home, but she also knew that Nick would chew her out for the next millenia. She rolled her eyes. “Fine, I’ll bite. What’s going on?”

Kasumi talked her ear off for nearly an hour. She had stopped listening and figured about ten minutes in she was bound to be missed by Dima, but in an open place such as this, there were definitely cameras hidden everywhere. Which meant eyes and ears. Which meant that if something was going on, everyone was pretending it wasn’t.

Overall, the girl knew almost nothing and everything she thought she knew was based off of speculation and carefully placed crumbs. Things that anyone would see and think nothing of. Of course, anything can give someone information if they know what they are looking for. Luckily the girl didn’t know what she was looking for and so she was safe. 

Eventually, Kasumi began pitching ideas on how to get more information from the various leaders of Acadia. “We could sneak in and eavesdrop on a meeting. I also know that Faraday is always hiding information on his terminal.”

“You know what? I’ll just ask Dima myself.”

Kasumi looked concerned. “Are you sure? He could be lying to all of us.”

“Yeah, and I’m a pretty good lie detector.” If she wasn’t, then she was sure Nick would catch something. 

“Well, if you’re sure. Please let me know what you find out. Then we can come up with a plan. I’ll try to keep up appearances while you’re away.” 

Cara let out a snort as she stood to leave. The girl was playing spy, and she had nothing. She wasn’t a synth, though, Cara knew that much. Replacement synths were incredibly observant, and this girl was just desperate for somewhere to fit in. Maybe she should just move to Diamond City. There was always new things happening and at least she’d be mostly safe now that McDonough was removed from service, and Scara and Duff had taken over the City. The City was well on it’s way to thriving and Kasumi would be valuable to the City. 

If they couldn’t have Cara, they’d find a replacement anyway and the girl reminded Cara of herself. 

~

By the time she had made it to the ground floor again, Nick and Dima had made a careful acquaintanceship. Less anger and more optimism. 

“Now, that you’ve seen Kasumi for yourself, did you have other questions about Acadia? About me?” Dima didn’t sound angry that she’d snuck off. Cara snuck a glance at Nick, and his face was calmer than before, so she took it to mean he’d explained why they were there. 

“Yeah, a few. Are the people in danger?” 

“The people of the Island are always in danger. That’s not new.”

“Not from the Island. From you. And your leaders.” 

“I assure you, I would not place people in danger. Not intentionally. We gave Far Harbor the condensers. The Children were given the Nucleus. I have been trying to keep the peace and keep them all safe.”

“You’re hiding something, Dima. Why would they be going after each other in a war mindset? Puppeteers make great leaders, but not all puppets are able to follow their masters direction.” He could evade all he liked but there was more to this Island than most of them let on.

“I… don’t know. I am old. I forget things all the time. I put old memories onto drives so that I can continue to function, without forgetting anything.”

“So the computers, they house your knowledge. What else do they do? Are there other places that you could have left memories with sensitive information?”

“There are other memories. Memories that have been lost over time before I came here and Faraday was able to come up with a more permanent solution to my problems. Before I left the Nucleus myself, I had tried to store some memories. I cannot remember what they were, but Chase has mentioned that the Children are growing restless and are trying to get them. If they find out what is on them, I am afraid for all of us.

“They are protected, however. Only I can access them. Faraday and I came up with a program to “hack” them for retrieval. We were going to send Chase. But since you are here, maybe you can go instead. The Children, they do not know you, you would be able to infiltrate them without tracing back to Far Harbor or Acadia.”

“If I find those tapes, and find out what’s on them and I don’t like it, Dima, we are going to have problems. You can’t play God in your tower.”

“I am afraid I know that already. Good luck.” Dima handed her a holotape, which Cara placed into her pack. “And goodbye, Nick.”

“Later, Dima.” 

Cara took the backside of the mountain to get to ground level. Dima had told her where the Nucleus was. Taking the back door was faster than the main path out. Nick kept sighing every time he would stumble over a branch or slip on a rock. 

“You should just step where I do. You’d fall less often,” Cara offered.

“You should have taken the road. No one would fall at all.” Nick’s response was curt and Cara laughed as she jumped from rock to rock. The air was heavy again and she already missed the fresh air from the top of the mountain. 

“How long do you think it’ll take to get back? Do you think we’ll find something important?” Cara posed the question to no one, but got an answer from Nick anyway. 

“If we find something, it’s going to make the trip longer. And from what Dima said, we’re going to find something. Don’t get your hopes up for a short trip.”

“So what’s up with you and Dima? Do you really believe you’re brothers? Cause I gotta say, the resemblance is uncanny.”

“You know, I don’t know. Everything points to it being the truth, but I can’t shake the bad feeling.”

“You know, it might be good to have someone to talk to that has similar experiences. It’s good to not be alone.” 

Nick looked at her. His face was troubled. She knew offering her advice might be unwarranted given anything she’d done previously. 

“I think I might want to mull it over before I make any decisions on the matter.”  
Cara shrugged. “I’ll leave you to it.”

At some point Cara nearly tripped and she cursed. She should have brought Kasumi along. Made her do the dirty work. Would serve her right for running away. Cara sighed, knowing full well that putting the kid in harm's way was not useful and by the time they hit the bottom of the mountain, the sun was starting to set. 

“Why does it feel like time is faster here?” Cara pouted.

“It’s probably the blanket fog. Hides the sun longer.”

“Well, I hate it.”

“I know, Doll.”

~

It took most of the night for the duo to make it to the Nucleus. Cara spent the entire trip complaining about the dark or the cold or the rads in the fog or how the creatures in the dark were loud and annoying. 

She hadn’t been quiet about it either. More than once they came across some ghoul or swamp creature. They were easily taken out between the two of them. Cara wondered when they’d gotten so good at working together. 

The Nucleus was bright. The only other place she’d seen be so bright was the Crater in the Glowing Sea. Cara sort of missed seeing it in the distance. The Island was so dark and it set her on edge. The darkness here was unnatural. The fog must have something to do with it. 

They moved to hide behind some cover so they could survey the irradiated lake. The fog rolled off the lake and seemed to take the rads with it. The area looked clear of the fog aside from this, and in the distance she spotted some humans standing near a door. 

Two people were kneeling in front of a man wearing heavy armor. He was speaking, and the other men who were standing were standing at ease. He was clearly in charge and not too long after, one of the kneeling persons stood and shot the other. The person faced the man in charge, who responded to whatever she had asked, and she bowed slightly and moved to head inside of the building. 

The man in charge moved to stand next to the door of the building while the others undressed and threw the fresh corpse into the lake. Cara wanted to know how they were so calm about killing each other. 

“Well, what a nice welcome that is.” Cara whispered. “Think he’ll just let us in?” She moved to stand up again. “Come on.” 

She heard Nick let out yet another sigh. His sighs had started to increase in frequency. He’d eventually tell her off, but she wondered why he hadn’t stopped her yet. By all accounts, this was a stupid plan. She kept her weapons holstered 

The closer she got to the lake, the more she could feel the glow of the lake. The rads made her stomach turn less and make her skin crawl more. She’d noticed it a few days ago, that the fog didn’t seem to cause as much nausea as it had when she’d first arrived. Avoiding the fog was almost impossible and so she’d pushed through, ignoring it when Nick would warn her of the clicking on her Geiger counter. 

Cara was almost concerned at how the rads seemed to be more inviting than it should. She was going to have to talk to Hancock about the radiation if she made it back to the Commonwealth. If he didn’t hate her for disappearing, like everyone else had. 

As she approached the entrance to the base, she let out a loud, “Hello!” Her voice was a little too high and she almost hated herself. She knew how men like this worked. She’d been around enough men who thought they had power. She outlived them all and would continue to do so. 

Cara rounded the corner and was greeted with the sight of multiple barrels aimed in her direction. She let herself wonder for a split second what it would feel like to be shot by them. Her ballistic weave would barely be bothered by it but honestly, the bruises would feel better than being yelled at.

She wondered if maybe she should talk to Teddy in the Harbor. He didn’t know her, couldn’t judge her. He probably was a good listener and since she’d saved Andre, maybe he’d be willing to help her a little. 

Then again, maybe if she could get a hold of literally anything to drink that wasn’t soda or water she’d be less willing to go through extremes. 

She was glad that Nick was far enough behind her that he couldn’t see her face. He probably already knew what she was thinking regardless and didn’t need his outright objection. 

“What’s your business here, Stranger?” The man in charge had a calm voice. She wanted to know how stressed he had to be for that voice to house some semblance of an emotion. 

“Heard a rumor. Thought I’d pop in and see what was going on down in these parts. Mother Isolde said here was the place to truly experience Atom.” Her voice was still too high, and she tried to slow it. The children always spoke like they were high on the rads.

Strictly speaking, she wasn’t lying. Isolde had mentioned that there was a convent in the far North, once while Cara had been searching the Sea for a bomb storage facility. Cara hoped that there weren’t more than this specific one. Isolde had talked about it being glorious, a huge hub of sorts. Before the Crater had been wiped clean during a regulated Brotherhood sweep that cleared the entirety of the south. Maxson was delusional that he’d be able to terraform the Sea. 

“Oh? And what makes you think that we are taking members? You’re not an islander, that much is clear.” His suspicions were growing and his grip on his rifle was getting tighter.

“I joined up with the Mother in the Commonwealth. I wanted… needed to spread the Word of Atom. She said this was the place to head. That the people here needed the Word the most. That this was where I’d be able to find my… purpose, my true home.” 

“Is that so.” His guard lessened and he lowered his weapon. “Maybe the High Confessor will have some use for you. You may enter. Here, take these robes and change into them.” He looked at her, and gestured at the pile of clothes on the ground. Cara prayed her face was screaming out ‘high as a kite on the wind’ and the man followed with, “Change inside. Go now.”

Cara nodded, grabbed the clothing from the ground and moved toward the door trying to fulfill her role as the Child seeking Atom. She reached for the door as the man said, “Be warned, Stranger, there are many eyes who watch for Atom beyond those doors. The Confessor is an audience for the Children. Be sure to attend. Make haste.”

The man’s commands held the authority of a military man. Of a Pre-War military. Which was weird as Cara had only heard of the Brotherhood Post-War. If he were Pre-War, how would he not be ghoulified. There were stories of people who were resistant to radiation but few outlived their human life span. She’d ask him later, once she was initiated fully and her questions wouldn’t raise too many questions. 

Once inside, she pulled into a side room, with Nick keeping watch, and she changed into the rags she’d been given. If there had been any less of the clothing she’d have been better off walking around naked. She’d better not get shot at in this place or she’d have the guy’s head. 

“You know Nick, if I had known they’d had such good fashion I’d have taken up with the Children years ago.” She did a spin when she got into the hallway. “Maybe I should shave my head. Bald patching is where it’s at, you know.”

For the first time since they’d been traveling together Nick let out a proper laugh. “Just try to not get shot at.” 

“For you? Anything.” She blew him a kiss and twirled down the rest of the hallway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In other news, at least they're getting comfortable enough with each other finally. I have an entire side piece for these two that helped lead this story in the right direction. Huzzah. 
> 
> also; woo two chapters due to the quarantine. Please stay safe. <3


	9. Well it’ll keep on giving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know how you always reverse Mai's bypass? I do. Anyway, Cara's radiation resistance is null and I always like the theory that Hancock got off during radstorms. 
> 
> Also also, sorry this was really late. Life happens.

The Confessor was bat-shit insane. Cara’s mood felt elevated and if she didn’t know better, she’d have said she was high. But she knew that the Confessor knew absolute fuck all regarding the current events. 

He was a-okay with murder and clearly wanted to be the only power on the Island. For all of Dima’ faults, at least he cared about the island as a whole and not just Acadia. But Cara couldn’t stand the Confessor. 

Luckily, Nick had directed her attention to a woman named Aubert. And so they helped the woman out based entirely on the fact that Cara detested the man that Aubert also had a problem with. 

A few hours later, the evidence had been cleared and the Confessor held Aubert in esteem yet again. Cara would have tried to convince the woman to leave, but nothing she said seemed to faze the other woman. 

Eventually, she racked up a few tasks for the Children. On her way out to help fix Mai’s rad scrubbers, she spotted Richter. He was standing guard at the entrance to the Confessor’s chamber. He stood like a military man and Cara wanted to know why he seemed prewar. She mosied her way up to him and spoke with him. 

“So, you seem different then everyone else here. More militaristic? What’s your story?” Her voice slick with charm. 

He glared down at her and sighed. “A long time ago I was a military man. Group called the enclave. And before you ask how I got here, I was on a scouting trip and my troop and I got locked in a room. They died and by Atoms blessing I was spared and retrieved by Tektus. Been with them ever since.” 

“The Enclave?” Cara didn’t know who they were although she was sure someone would give her more than Richter. 

“Group of prewar descendants longing to the lost ideals of a relic of times past. Stationed out west and in the wasteland. Heard most are dead now.” His voice grew gruffer and he gave a small cough. “Was there anything else?”

Cara figured she wasn’t going to get more information about him so instead she said, “Got any work?” 

“A woman named Gwyneth recently defected. She’s been defecting our shrines. Not sure why. Speak with Zealot Theil for more.” Richter turned away, clearly done talking with her. 

Cara gave a huff and moved away to locate Theil and after being directed to the holy sites, she and Nick left the Nucleus. 

-

The Vim Pop factory was covered in mutants and the terminals lead them to a behemoth named Grun. The fight was simple as Cara placed a pile of mines in front of the door keeping him locked away. 

His broken legs meant that he couldn’t do much beyond thrashing and throwing things at them from across the factory and so Cara took her time in lining up her shots, delighting in how they made a squishing sound. 

One of her shots exploded his eye and he finally went down as Cara gave a huge grin. She missed the smell of her rifle and the thrill of battle. 

“So where do you think the pump regulator is?”

“Probably an office or something.” 

Nick sounded distant, like he was distracted. 

“Hey, Nick? You alright?” 

He looked around before settling on her. “Uh? Yeah, I’m alright.” 

“Nick...” Cara stopped. While she wanted to bring his change in demeanor back to attention, she wasn’t sure if he’d be receptive. “Never mind. We should probably check the vats room. It is a pump regulator.”

“You lead and I’ll follow.”

They backtracked to the factory level. Cara definitely followed the sound of the bubbling rather than following the signs. 

When they finally made it to the floor, it smelled. Smelled like sweat and blood and decaying bodies. Reminded her of Nuka World. Reminded her of Porter and how he was always present. There for her. Able to guide her. 

But Nick was also there. He gave her the tools to solve her problems and trusted her in battle and conversation. He was patient and understanding. 

Cara tried to put the thoughts of Nuka World out of her head as she climbed the catwalks and railings. She knew it was going to sour her mood, so she tried to focus on fixing arches for Mai. 

The hanging offices were rickety from the weight of the super mutants occupying them prior. Cara focused on scouting the various containers and cabinets. Her thoughts being occupied by her vacation. Calling it a vacation was better than calling it what it was. 

Made her feel better about the disaster that had ensued. 

Eventually Nick had found the regulator. It was in none of the places Cara had searched. It was being used by the vats. Between the two of them, finding the power to the vats and turning off resulted in them finding an elevator. It was reasonably well concealed, which is why they hadn’t noticed it before. 

“So, Nick, we taking it now or later. Cause either way it works for me.” Cara gave Nick a huge smile. “This one is up to you.”

Nick seemed visibly taken aback at her statement. “I, uh, let’s come back later. I need a time to regroup.”

“Alright.” Cara patted him on his shoulder. “Let’s head back to the Nucleus.” She gave him a squeeze. She stepped away and heard him follow her back. 

-

“Mai! We got the regulator!” Cara skipped through the Nucleus. Chipper as could be. 

“Wow! Thanks! I’m so glad to hear that. Since you did the hard work, feel free to do the install.” Mai wiped her hands off before she gestured at the bottom of the base. “The intake system is down there. Just pop it open and screw it in. I’ve got the system rigged to send out warm irradiated water whenever the Children want it.” 

“Sounds good. Be back soon!” Cara hopped away and took the stairs two at a time. Nick followed behind watching her so as to catch her if she misstepped. She was hyper aware of his presence and it only made her giddier. 

Fortunately, they made it to the bottom without any issue, and Cara took the opportunity to splash in the water. She wondered why. He’d always hated the rain, and the puddles were always just there. There was no reason to be in this puddle, but she was overwhelmed with the need to splash in the water. 

Instead of continuing to question it, she just hopped and skipped forward. Nick stayed to the side of the area, following her. Just like he had been. 

Cara reached and opened the power box. She stuck the regulator in the only open spot and called it quits. 

“Hey Nick, can you check this for me?”

“Sure, Doll.” He moved over to the box and tightened the screw. Changing the wiring to make the water clean again, was beyond him in the short time frame. “Cara, you sure you don’t want to undo the rad wiring? Might make them live longer.” 

“Nah, it’s their choice. Let them have it.” Cara could have undone Mai’s work, she’d seen it. It would probably hold for a few years before it needed repair. She watched Nick debate with himself. “Just let it go. I promise it won’t last. Lord knows I’m the best mechanic on this wreck.” 

Nick just sighed and closed the box. “If you say so.” 

Cara’s pupils were blown from the rads when Nick looked at her. “Let’s go give Mai the good news.” She turned and dashed through the dock. Nick barely on her heels. 

Mai was overjoyed when they returned. She gave Cara some caps for her trouble and a new rifle. She called it Radical Conversion. Cara gleefully took it and Nick knew that in the coming days the rifle would be fully kitted out. 

Cara thanked Mai and pulled Nick away to the room that they’d been using as housing. Nick watched as Cara began to wind down from the radiation high. 

She finally crashed and laid her head on her lap. Nick sighed and pet her head as she began to snore. He leaned his head against the wall and settled in for a diagnostic and worried about her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably like a third of the way done. :)

**Author's Note:**

> Apologies about any mispellings. If you notice any inconsistencies let me know.


End file.
